I went to a ms appraisal today with Jennifer Barrett and Louise Cusack.
I had to submit the first 10 pages of my novel Literary License. The appraisal was an hour long but as they showered me with praise I could have sat there all day.
their suggestions were awesome and really helpful. I could see where I just needed to tweak a bit here and there. They were professional, honest and didn't spare the adverbs.
I was stoked.
If this is the dreaded appraisal all I can say is what in the world was a worried about.
Now I am going to fix the problems and then the manuscript with sparkle (Louise's word) Jennifer has a web at www.addicted2words.wordpress.com

My article "My husbands vice" is in the March 2010 Just click on the title of this post to take you to AFLOAT MAGAZINE home page.

I submitted a short story to Harvest Magazine. They were generous enough to provide feedback on my rejection.Nice one and thanks.


Hi there Kerry

Thanks for submitting 'Kaleidescope' to harvest. While we enjoyed reading it, unfortunately on this occasion it wasn't selected for inclusion in issue #5. We received a record number of submissions this time around, and unfortunately that meant we had to make some tough choices... and it has taken us awhile.

Here's a little feedback on your piece:
We think you've made terrific use of historical details to give the piece an evocative setting and a strong sense of authenticity. The prose throughout is peppered throughout with some lovely imagery. However, we did wonder if you could have made more of the kaleidoscope motif throughout - it's such a powerful image, with lots to unpack and expand on. We think with a little redrafting you could bring this work to its fullest potential.

We wish you the best of luck with reworking this piece, Kerry, and with your writing career more generally.

--
All the best
the harvest team
PO Box 1115
Elwood, Victoria 3184
e. writetoharvest@gmail.com
i. www.harvestmagazine.wordpress.com
Become our friend on Facebook: harvest magazine

These people represent Bill Bryson one of my laugh out loud favorites. So I thought as Literary License was a humorous novel I might have a chance. Not so this time.
Here is there very nice rejection.

but here first are their submission guidelines if you want to try your luck although they say luck has nothing to do with it and talent has everything.

submissions

If you would like to send in your work to be read by Greene & Heaton, please make sure you include the following: a covering letter, a synopsis, and three chapters (or about fifty pages if that`s easier). Please make sure that you give us your email address, or include a return envelope and sufficient postage if you want the material back.
Please note that we don't represent original scripts for theatre, film or television.

We try to respond within six weeks of receipt of your material, but please appreciate that this isn't always possible. It is unlikely that you will receive detailed criticism of your work unless we are interested in representing it, but it will be read, and we always aim to give you a response.

Please address to: Greene & Heaton Ltd, 37 Goldhawk Road, London W12 8QQ

Dear Kerry Ashwin,

Thank you for your letter, and for giving us the opportunity to consider your work.

We're sorry to tell you that we didn't feel this was a project we could handle successfully on your behalf.

We wish you the best of luck with your writing in the future, and hope that you find suitable representation shortly.

Yours sincerely,

Jane Petrie





Jane Petrie

Greene & Heaton Ltd

37 Goldhawk Road

London W12 8JF



Tel: 020 8749 0315

Fax:020 8749 0318

www.greeneheaton.co.uk

I submitted a proposal for a serial of 3,800x3 parts to Woman's Weekly in UK.
I thought it was a good rollicking story. but the editor of fiction said.
Quote:
"Thank you for your submission. I’m afraid this isn’t quite suitable for us. We need plots that are a little more “down to earth”. I’m attaching our guidelines.


Best wishes,
Gaynor Davies
Fiction Editor, Woman's Weekly/
Editor, Woman's Weekly Fiction Special
IPC Connect
Blue Fin Building
110 Southwark Street
London
SE1 0SU
And that was withing 48 hours. I was so pleased that Gaynor was prompt. How is that for service. I will try something else. What have I got to loose.
Here is my synopsis. If anyone else wants me to write a three parter....

THE CUBAN MISTRESS.
 
 
At 50 Geraldine is looking to forget. Forget her divorce, her job, her house and the crippling payments and so she decides to take one last holiday before knuckling down to the rest of her life.
Louis has his 50ft yacht called Cuban Mistress, a love of the sea, an eye for women and debt.
Their worlds come together at a bar and over a few too many drinks Louis ends up inviting Gerri for a week of sailing around the Islands in Indonesia. What an opportunity to shake off her blues and so Gerri accepts. After all she thinks, she used to spend every weekend sailing with her good for nothing husband. The police have warned of pirates in the area and Gerri saw some mug shots of the brutes at the police station when she registered her intent to travel.
Then as the boat leaves the port Gerri hears Louis on the phone .
He is mad. Yelling, ranting and takes a winch handle and bangs it down. Gerri watches him calm down and then he says “Fred see you later and remember...cash only.”
Gerri wonders if she has done the right thing as she thinks about the mug shot of Freddie a known pirate in the area and still at large.
But she convinces herself ‘millions of guys are named Fred. It was just a coincidence. Nothing to worry about. Or is there?
 
 
Gerri's fears are allayed when she begins to fall for her old salt of the sea. They spend an idyllic day on a deserted beach talking, drinking, fishing and life seems pretty good. Has Gerri found a soul mate. Louis talks about his childhood in Cuba, his family and Gerri thinks it was almost like they were meant to find one another.
 But all too soon she has niggling doubts about Louis. She hears suspicious conversations over the radio, sees guns, and Louis becomes evasive when asked the most innocent of questions. He seems jumpy and on edge as Gerri tried to piece together what is going on.
 
Then, three men board the boat in the dead of night and it is obvious they are in charge. These thugs look like the mug shots in the police station Gerri saw before she left and then she hears them talking about getting rid of her.
Louis is mixed up on the wrong side of the law to pay his debts but murder wasn't part of the deal and so he gives Gerri the opportunity to escape just as they are ready to hijack a tanker in the shipping channel.
Gerri silently launches the dinghy and in a fast paced conclusion cracks open the throttle and speeds to the tanker shooting off her survival pack flares and trying to radio the tanker of the impending attack and her need for rescue. Gunfire misses her as she zigzags across the wake of the three story ship until with relief she hears the engines slow and sees a search light sweeping the water looking for her.
With her rescue secure the captain of the tanker radios for assistance and the Cuban Mistress is captured and escorted to port.
That should be the end of Gerri's experiences except as she passes the felons at the port police station Louis slips a note into her hand.
It is the address of his mother's place, in Cuba.
Perhaps the rest of her life can wait a little longer she thinks and Louis might keep is Cuban Mistress after all.
 

My story about love has been chosen for the six Sentences anthology about love.
click the title of this post to take you to the video of the authors.
six sentences has yet to announce the winners of the submissions.
fingers crossed.

This is the new look blog. some of the elements aren't working as yet. But I'm working on it.
I liked this design and so do about 26,000 other people. I am in good company.
Now you will have to scroll down to see all the blog. but the links on the side and the search button are awesome features